Who Were whe?

Who were whe? 2 different types of people or the perfect match? Up until this day i still dont know how to answer this… Im someone inpatient, that hate lies, love my space and really enjoy my time alone. Im a loner really. Have lots of patience when someone deserves, but loose it very quickly when i dont see any reason for stress. Think that im always right and love to make a point when im right. And it really doesnt bother me to spend all the time at home( have a few friends and they are the ones that i go out for). Love annoying everyone and love to have a good laugh (in all reality a dark sense of humor). She had loads of patience, was kind, young (shes 22 and im 39 soon), always ready for a laugh, leaving me little notes, attencious, always there for me. As im writing these words, seems that we were too different, and up to a point e agree with that. Wowever the more i think about it the more i say we were the perfect match. It looked like a perfect match, and early in the relationship we both agreed that it wasnt going to be easy but we would fight for it. So when did things went wrong? I love to analyze everything and this question will be in my head for a long time. I really think that the problem (as much as i always said that it wasnt a problem), was the age gap. I remember teeling her several times that she remembered me. Not because it was wrong or right, but an age thing. Or because ive been on that stage of my live. The reality is that my priorities at least for the next 10 years, will always be my son and my house that needs paying. And i have accepted that a long time ago. She is at a age that she needs to explore the world. And i understand that. I cant be bothered if i stay at home every day, but for a young person that is not easy. And unfortunately as i predicted, whit the world opening up again, thats what i see on her, Want to explore the world. Everything is new. Everything is exciting. Call me boring, but i accepted that live is what it is, so i have priorities and never forget that. Im not bothered if it takes me 1,2,3,4,5 years or whatever it might be to get where i want. But you never like that when youre young. She was romantic. Im not. The romantic side of me goes down the drain from the moment i share a live with someone. And i dont know why. I always see my responsabilities as a priority. The relationship never comes first. Maybe thats where i go wrong. I need someone that challenges me all the time, and she did that. Until a certain time. Then stop. With challenginng i dont mean always thinking differently from me, but force me to go out of my ways… She did that at the beginning. Why did it stop? I guess that it comes a point that you get full of it? I really dont know. I loved the times we went for walks and got lost driving somewhere, but it was always her planning it. I didnt mind as long as i was with her. Maybe is this that i did wrong…. I always told people that she was a keeper. But did i show that to her? She was always there for me and i was partially there for her… Maybe it was that? The fact is , before we met ive asked around about her and what i was told wasnt good. Ive chosen to know the person instead of believig what others said. But then early on the relationship i caught her lying about something that there wasnt any need to lie. And since then, i have to admit that i was never able to trust her. I have my problems from the past that she knew. Why did she lie? Up until today i cant understand. We argued lots of times, where she always apologised even when i was wrong. But apologizing over and over about the same, is that really an apology? As i said i loose it easily, and she come to the point of being scared of beeing at home. As painfull as it is to hear this, she was right. Maybe it was this… I still think that the age gap is what made the difference and provoked all the arguments. Adding that to the person that i am, it was basically impossible for this to work. Its still painfull when a relationship finishes, but for her and maybe for me its the best. I can now focus again on my priorities and fight the world again as i like, and she can explore and enjoy everything that the world have to offer her… As the days go pass, turns easy to accept things. Still painfull to share the same place, but soon that will finish. Soon it will be just me again. And as sad as this sounds as i write it, gives me such an inside strengh that is amazing. Once she told me it was me and her against the world (i was so happy on that day now that i remember). Now its just me….. Maybe im the one to blame, and probably the only one, but i still believe that when someone loves another person they will fight until the end…. And i dont think she or me did it…… All in all i dont have a problem to admit that the main reason of this break up its me. I just wish that she had spoken more with me in this last month, and that i had stop to think where this was going, and maybe, just maybe, things would be different now. And to finish this post, i leave the story that ive always told everyone about the start of our relationship, a beginning of a fairy tale:

One day while delivering the post (one of my duties at my old job) i had a food delivery for her. While delivering it i asked if she wanted to cook for me that night. She laught and did not answer. 10-15 later i tought she wouldnt answer at all. So i texted her on messenger saying that if she did not want to cook for me, we could go for a walk later on the day. She then said that she would like to do that and we met. We spent 5 hours walking around the park and talking about myself. I loved to tell that story to people. Now is just one more story………